Is it all about the looks?

Yes and No. Okay, I'll be the first to admit I like to look good. I mean who doesn't? Everyone knows the old adage when you look good you feel good. Well it's a timeless saying for a reason because it's true! I don't know one person on the planet that does not want to look good, if not great, if not their best. I like being able to feel good about my body and the way it looks. I like having a blemish free face and skin that glows. Hey, arrest me for liking the ability to comfortably zip my jeans without any abdominal spillage or a muffin top! Don't hate on me because I want to be beautiful on the inside and out. I know for a fact that good looks make a difference in so many ways. A person with good looks is assumed to be smarter, friendlier, wealthier, healthier and overall more desirable. American society rewards the beautiful and shames the less than average...and who wants to be less than average if you can help it? Anyway, to be totally honest it's not entirely about looks because I like to think I am not that vain and being that I am already married it's definitely not to nail down a husband. In fact, I can't stand when someone feels that you can choose to "let yourself go" or "keep yourself up" depending upon if you're married or not or if you have kids or not. If you want to look your best it should be because you want to simply feel you're best within the scope of your own mind, body and spirit. I believe looking good can trigger your mind into thinking you are having a better day. It's boosts your confidence and sense of being accepted. From a body standpoint looking good helps you to appreciate your physique all the more better so that you'll take care of it all the more better. You'll be able to keep your BMI (body mass index = your height in regards to your weight) at an appropriate level. You'll care more about what percentage of body fat is healthy for you. You'll typically want to have a pain free body as you move about your day. I believe it effects the spiritual because you can feel more accepted by others which in turn can allow you to focus more on others. Not feeling insecure about the way you look opens you up to being free to do whatever you want. You'll project that inward beauty outward that people will see upon first meeting you. Now I am not advocating being obsessed with beauty, that is not what this blog is about, this blog is just my story and my agenda to look good to feel my best. With that being mentioned I have decided to undergo a make over. For the next few weeks my mission will be not only to work my B.A.B.E program but may be to do a little rejuvenating to my skin, hair, nails and overall personal style. First up will be my hair. I started getting into hair extensions (or weaves as many call them) late last year and I like them. I like that I can sew in some hair and be about my business without having to damage my own fragile, fine hair. My good friend Daphne is a hair extension technologist and licensed hair stylist. She will be giving me microlinks which is this new technique of taking strands of your own hair and linking it to a strand of the packaged hair to extend your length. This process is not sewn in. It is a linking and clamping process that is suppose to last awhile and give you the flexibility and versatility to be able to function as if the hair is your own natural hair for up to six months. I get it done tomorrow and pictures will be posted. I'm so looking foward to this. Toodles...and make it a beautiful day!

Motherhood is a gift.

Jennifer Hudson

Motherhood is a gift...oh yes it is! It is a gift of bodily destruction and emotional mayhem. In fact I received a different gift each time I gave birth. Let me run down my gift list. The first gift I received was 14 years ago from my first born A.R. (I'm using his initials to spare him the embarrassment of Mom-teenager association) his gift was just what a 23 year old first time mother would want. A set of saggy deflated boobs! I knew with my teabag titties  (as my friend Robin would refer to them) that I would be destined to a life of push up bras and chicken cutlet looking replacement prostheses. Feeling like I was having a mid life crisis, I made a decision do what any American 23 year old woman that is totally immersed in her body would do, I went under the knife. I traded in my less than A size tea bags titties for a pair of full C size teardrop boobies (that's what they actually called my implants teardrop's). Thinking I had permanently dodged a body bullet I thought it was safe enough to enter into mommy hood again. 5 1/2 years later I gave birth to my darling middle child Elias Lewis. At 10 lbs 5 ounces at birth Elias Lewis gave me the instant gift of abdominal stretchmarks. Ahhh...what thoughtfulness on his behalf. Another gift for me to treasure and again show off! I left the hospital with my stomach looking like a road map of peaks and valleys made up of loose skin and underlying muscle indentations. The fix so I thought, in this situation would be to buy and use a host of body butters. I tried cocoa butter, shea butter, almond butter and I hate to admit even a little crisco. Nothing worked to eliminate these ugly tiger stripes however, over time they did diminish and at 28 years old I felt like I was already ancient enough to not care as much. I figured I keep these battle scars and live a life of one piece swim suits with the occasional tankini (thank God for tankini's).  On to present day, which is eight years later to the birth of my sweet Jonathan. My gratis gift baby or so I thought. I never thought I would have to incur anymore body inflictions but I did. Little Jonathan Xavier gave me my greatest mommy body gift so far. I am now the proud recipient of wider hips. Yay me!!!  I already had wide enough hips to begin with...do I really need more to contend with? I guess so because now 2 months later I am still wearing my maternity jeans! I can't fit into my size 6 skinny jeans, boot cut jeans or even my old reliable jeggings! So now the reasonble fix would be to buy a new pair of jeans in a different size right? Heck no! I'm embarrassed to admit but I don't want to buy double the size I was before the baby. I feel it would be some sort of commitment to buy a pair of size 12 jeans. No offense to all you size twelver's out there but I have a closet full of size six's that miss my body and my body misses them! I just secretly hope we can one day build a relationship again (sigh). All of this wondering just leaves me with one thought... When did I trade places with Jennifer Hudson?